How on earth has it already been two years occupying this little space of mine on the internet???
When I started this blog journey two years ago, I was determined to stick with it and make it work. I heard over and over again that one of the key factors in succeeding in this crazy world is persistence, because most people that start this journey quit within 6 months, and the majority of the remaining will give up after a year.
But here I am, two years in, and I have no plans on stopping! I found something that actually makes me feel fulfilled in life, and I am so incredibly grateful for the Jenn that existed two years ago that decided to take a chance on herself and just go for it.
But it hasn’t all been bright, shining moments.
I was feeling pretty confident on the one year anniversary; I had spent the year learning everything I possibly could that would help me on this journey: photography, SEO, graphic design, I tried learning all the basics and I was okay with that because you can’t succeed long term unless you have a solid foundation. But going into year two with all that knowledge under my belt, I was ready to actually succeed this year!
By January, I was confident this would be my year. I had at least one trip planned every other month, I had a couple partnerships lined up, I got my first freelance photography/social media client which was huge, and I was feeling more than ready to meet with brands at all the conferences I was planning on attending.
Then COVID hit, and all my dreams went up in flames.
I talked about this a bit in my first COVID check in post, but as one trip or conference got cancelled after the other, I sank deeper and deeper into depression. With nowhere to go, how on earth could I possibly keep this blog up? What would I post? What could I talk about that people were actually interested in?
Enter: Gloria “Glo” Atanmo.
Before Christmas I had signed up for one of Glo’s retreats that would be held in Turks and Caicos in October. By this point it was late March, but I was still pretty confident the retreat would go on as planned since it was so far out. I received an email from Glo letting me know that while she still expected the October retreat to go on, she recognized how hard these times were and she wanted to offer something to her 2020 retreat attendees in case their retreat did end up getting cancelled. She told me that I would be enrolled in her Blog Like a Boss course, which she decided to do another guided version of rather than self-guided, as well as her monthly group coaching.
Even in the darkest days where I didn’t even want to get out of bed, I realized what an incredible gift this was. So I got to work.
Between about ten weeks of the actual course and two weekly Zoom meetings for both course check ins and group coaching, I started to feel like myself again. I still had waves of depression, imposter syndrome, and incredibly low self-confidence, but they weren’t nearly as frequent as they had been prior to starting Glo’s course.
I started that course off wanting to be the best, to the point that if I didn’t win a weekly challenge I thought I had kicked ass on I would beat myself up about it. It was ridiculous! The course wasn’t about being perfect or about being the “best”, it was about growth.
And about halfway through, that finally clicked. I became so much more confident in the decisions I was making for my blog and my business, and I finally started to accept the fact that it’s okay to get things wrong sometimes!
On our very last call for the course, Glo asked all of us what was next for us. What will we do with the time we have left in the year?
My response: “I think I’m going to finally write my first e-book.”
I always knew I would end up writing When Grief Gets a Passport, it was just a matter of when. In my mind, I thought it would be released on my mom’s ten year anniversary. But the longer I was home, the more that book was clawing at my insides just trying to get out into the world. I had thought about starting to write it and just waiting until the anniversary to release it, but when Glo asked that question, I knew.
There would never be a perfect time, and I was stuck at home anyway, so why not now?
Glo told me that e-books can be written in 5 days or 30 days, but no more than that. If you don’t give yourself a hard deadline then you’ll never get it done.
I gave myself 6 weeks and missed my deadline by about 36 hours, but I did it! I wrote a freakin’ book!!!
This past year has been intense. I went from being confident I would “make it”, to severely depressed and convinced I’d be stuck in Corporate America forever, to feeling more peace than I ever have before. The type of success I’m able to celebrate today certainly isn’t what I expected it to be, but I truly believe it is so much better than I had imagined!
Today and every day I am most grateful for all of you. Thank you for supporting me during this crazy year as I have tried to shift my content with the times. Thank you for your messages where you shared your own struggles; your courage to share with someone that may be a stranger to you helped give me strength on some of my darkest days. And thank you for celebrating the release of my first book with me!
I’ve heard that writing your first book is always the hardest, but once you’ve got the first one out of your system the rest just kind of come bubbling out. I 100% believe that, because as I wrote I came up with at least a dozen other ideas. But, for now, I am going to soak up every ounce of joy and pride I am experiencing in this current season of life and spend all day today celebrating.
After all, what is the point of doing something if you’re not even going to take the time after it’s finished to appreciate it?
If you haven’t ordered your copy of When Grief Gets a Passport yet, you can order the e-book on Amazon here or the paperback here.
All of these incredible photos are by Shauna Swett of Collected Moments Photography!