Let me get the answer to your biggest question out of the way:
I tested positive for COVID after coming home from my trip to Texas.
We first got tested for COVID before we even left on Tuesday, November 10 and received our negative test results the following morning. After getting our test done, we did not leave the house until it was time to head to the airport on Thursday, November 12.
After a four hour flight with all middle seats blocked off, we safely arrived in Austin, Texas unsure of what we would find in terms of COVID procedures, but excited nonetheless to be able to celebrate a weekend of love and light with some of our friends. Despite signage everywhere saying that masks are required, it became clear to us very quickly that while they say they’re required, no one in Austin was really enforcing them. This obviously wasn’t ideal, but coming from Massachusetts where masks are enforced we just decided to follow all the same rules we would at home. In fact, we took it a step further and wore our masks anytime we were walking downtown or any time we were within about 10 feet of people. I can’t speak for Mark, but my #1 priority was to make sure I wasn’t responsible for possibly getting anyone at the wedding sick. I mean, how horrible would you feel if the bride and groom came down with COVID on their honeymoon???
The wedding was pretty big, we estimated about 180 people, but temp checks were required prior to entering the church and masks were required when you were ordering drinks from the bar. We again took it a step further and wore our masks both at the bar and when we got in the buffet line for dinner. Mark and I were definitely in the minority when it came to wearing our masks to get food, but I didn’t want to take any risks. We also didn’t dance at the wedding, which is a first for us!
Throughout our trip, we got very little sleep which made me start to feel a little icky on Sunday. But, after a quick nap, I felt good as new and went on with our trip. By the time we got home Monday afternoon I was exhausted and back to feeling a little sick, which made me nervous because the airline policy had changed while we were in Texas and our flight home had been significantly more crowded. Being one who is prone to head colds after a hectic trip, I tried my best to think nothing of it…but scheduled a COVID test for the following day just to be safe.
The next morning I woke up feeling awful! (Mark was also experiencing some cold-like symptoms.) At that point I knew in my gut that my test later that day would come back positive. I texted a friend of mine and asked her to run to the grocery store for us to pick up basic sick essentials: DayQuil, Gatorade, chicken broth, and Spaghetti-Os because I am an absolute child when I’m sick.
Mark got his test results back the following morning around 5AM. Now, when we had gotten tested together the previous week, we got our results back within about 20 minutes of each other. When 1PM rolled around and I still hadn’t gotten mine back, sheer dread fell over me. Despite everyone trying to tell me that it didn’t mean anything, I knew that phone calls typically went out from DPH between 3pm and 5pm and I my intuition told me that I would be included in that days’ phone calls.
At 4:35pm my phone rang and the caller id said “City of Worcester”. It was too early in the week for it to be about trash collection, there had been no holidays, leaf collection happened the week prior, and we weren’t expecting any snow. There was literally no other possible thing for this call to be about.
I answered and a kind woman said, “Hello, may I speak with Jennifer Zollo?”
I didn’t even let her introduce herself. I just said, “I tested positive…didn’t I?”
“Yeah…you did…”
I instantly fell to the ground sobbing, trying to be as quiet as possible because Mark was on an interview call in the next room.
We all have a pretty good idea what the symptoms of COVID are at this point, but what no one tells you is the mental toll it takes on you when that call comes in to say that you’re positive. No one warns you about the overwhelming feeling of shame you instantly feel when you hear the word “positive”; no one talks about what it’s like walking around feeling like you’re the actual embodiment of the plague.
I did everything I could to keep myself and those around me safe. I washed my hands, I wore my mask even when I didn’t need to, all the places we ate or drank at, with the exception of one, were outside, I refused to get in elevators if there was anyone else in them, anytime we were in cars with people other than the two of us I kept my mask on. I tried to stay as safe as I possibly could given the information available to us, and I still got this damn virus!
How many people did I infect???
There was an elderly couple in our shuttle to our car (which seemed far too full to meet Massachusetts guidelines…but I digress), did I get them sick??? Are they okay???
Was I contagious at the wedding? Will I ruin the bride and groom’s honeymoon???
I didn’t/don’t even care about myself, I’m not in the hospital and just feel like I have a bad head cold, what I care about is how many people I could have possibly exposed.
To anyone that has been exposed to the virus and truly isn’t bothered by the thought of who else they could have exposed, I envy you because I cried for three days straight about it. I even had to call my boss and ask for a day off, not because I was too sick to work but because I was too distraught over the damage I may have done to someone else’s life.
But, Jenn, where did you get it? The wedding? A bar? Somewhere else?
I honestly have no idea. While we were away someone in our COVID bubble tested positive, so I could have caught it from that person, but they had also tested negative around the same time we did. Maybe I caught it on the plane, maybe I caught it in Austin. I truly have no idea, but I’m still waiting for the follow up call from DPH to do contact tracing. At the time of this writing it has been six days since I received the news that I was positive and I still haven’t heard from them, but I was told that it could take quite a few days because they’re backed up with the latest surge in cases happening right now.
For now, even though I can technically leave isolation on Saturday, I’ll be staying at home, getting caught up on the backlog of work I now have, and choosing what to eat based on the texture I want because my sense of taste is totally gone. I’ve lost taste with other colds in the past, but never as completely as this! It’s superrrr strange! Fingers crossed that I have at least some of my taste back in time for our fully virtual Thanksgiving!
On the note of Thanksgiving, I wanted to say this:
I wasn’t planning on sharing this post today, I planned on waiting until Friday so I wouldn’t disrupt my gift guide content schedule. But this message is significantly more important than any gift guide.
Please, please, please consider staying home for Thanksgiving and only doing dinner with people in your household!
Even before the positive diagnosis, I had been trying to convince Mark to do a virtual Thanksgiving with his family instead. Just because you are not symptomatic and that test you took yesterday came back negative, it doesn’t mean that you or someone else at the dinner table won’t become positive between now and then.
I empathize with those of you that have not been able to see your families during all of this; it especially pains us to do a virtual Thanksgiving this year because it is the first year that Mark’s dad doesn’t need to work…but wouldn’t you rather have a virtual Thanksgiving this year so you can still enjoy an in-person with all of those same people next year?
Stay safe everyone. This virus isn’t a joke.
Wear your mask.
Wash your hands.
Stop going to parties that are bigger than what your state or country is allowing!
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For those wondering why I chose such a joyful picture, please enjoy the following Harry Potter quote:
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”
Albus Dumbledore
Our happiness at the moment has come in the form of breaking my cardinal rule of no Christmas decorations up before Black Friday and turning our home into the most epic winter wonderland ever!