I was planning on posting a pretty funny post today, but I haven’t posted a COVID check in lately and a lot of feelings have come up over these past couple weeks…so change of plans.
Yesterday marked cancelled flight #7 in the past month for me. You would think that after the first couple it would be fine…I certainly thought I would be numb to it by now, especially because my flight was to New Orleans for Travelcon and that was postponed back in early March…but somehow it was just as painful as when Italy was officially cancelled.
For one, I had big plans for myself this year. Last year I experienced my first Travelcon, got the jitters out, and this year I was ready to own my worth. I had a whole plan to meet with brands, get hired for more projects…I was so freakin’ ready for 2020 to be my year…but Mother Earth clearly had other ideas.
Second, I was really looking forward to seeing some of the friends I made last year! Last year I remember distinctly thinking, “These are my people. This is where I’m supposed to be.” Sure, I have incredible friends at home, but I don’t have friends that understand the frustrations I feel about the ever changing Instagram algorithm or feel my sorrow & disappointment when a post you thought would knock it out of the park gets your lowest engagement of the month. It’s just a different type of friend, and the type of friend I was excited to be surrounded by again…
My anxiety attacks, that used to be few and far between, are starting to make weekly appearances these days. Thankfully I have learned how to manage them so they at least don’t keep me in bed for an entire day, but it’s still scary how frequent they are becoming. Mark read an article recently that said the reason all of us are so out of whack, especially sleep-wise, is because with the uncertainty of the world around us our bodies are in a perpetual state of fight or flight. It makes sense, and makes me feel normal I guess, but it really doesn’t change much.
I don’t know what the future of travel holds. If I had to guess, it would look something like this:
•Fewer flights to allow for deeper cleanings in between each flight.
•No more middle seats on flights. (Though I hate the sketch I’ve seen of the middle seat just being turned around and having walls around it. If we’re going to change the layout of planes then I would rather just remove the middle seat altogether.)
•Masks required worldwide when out in public.
•Longer lines at prime tourist destinations, or maybe utilizing timed entry tickets more, and further reducing the number of people allowed in at one time.
I truly hope that I am wrong in most of my predictions…but I kind of doubt that I am. I get anxious just seeing people in line at WholeFoods with masks on, nevermind places that are supposed to be fun.
When I see the pyramids for the first time, will the picture of me in front of them include a mask on my face?
When I’m finally able to get back to Copenhagen, will the tears of happiness in my eyes look like tears of sadness because you can’t see my smile stretching from ear to ear?
I don’t want this to come off that I’m upset I won’t get the perfect ‘gram picture, that’s not it. But when I look back at the grainy pictures from cruises I went on with my mom and grandmother or slightly fuzzy pictures from my trip to Paris, I can see how unbelievably happy I was in those moments. Seeing my happiness from another point in time brings me joy in real time…will that still happen if my smile or laugh is hidden behind a mask?
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about the future of travel. This isn’t a sailing-to-Europe vs. taking-a-plane-to-Europe type of change…this is something totally different and something I don’t think any of us are prepared for.
Maybe that’s the source of my anxiety…as an only child that THRIVED at being on my own, I often crave my freedom and my independence. Even as a married woman I still have days where I just need to go out to do my own thing. I fear that this pandemic will take away my freedoms beyond the days of quarantine and far, far into the future…
End musings.